Thursday, May 28, 2009

Sparkle! Sparkle!

Someone recently suggested I think about what might have happened to my books if they had been written by a current famous award-winning young adult novelist. At first I just chuckled, then thought, hmm. So I pulled on this famous author's sparkly celebrity jacket--nice buttons! shiny pockets! tassels!--and had some fun.

First, of course, my books soared in both popularity and critical acclaim. Amazon practically toppled over from the sudden weight of my fameiness. And the fans! I could barely keep up with my e-mail. Librarians drooled over me so much I feared for my sparkly jacket. And boy-o-boy the invitations! I received invites to speak at ALA, BEA, ALAN, MLA, and NSA, plus I received every state award in the U.S. of A.. And, need I say the word? Printz. Australia anointed me with a specially created, "Magnificent American Author" award, and, world-wide, teens in every country begged for me to grace their MySpace and Facebook pages, if not their shores. So I did all that.

By the time I got home, though (exhausted, in need of a nap) and hung my sparkly jacket in the closet, I knew it was time to eat a big slice of reality pie. (Never my favorite. I prefer apple.)

If this said famous author had written my books, instead of the ones said famous author actually wrote, well, maybe said famous author would not have ended up so famous. Or, if I had written said famous author's books instead of my own, they might have ended up awardless and without acclaim, tossed unloved onto the remainder heap of that long good night. Face it, the personality of the author has a lot to do with his or her success in the world. (Excuse me a moment while I shed a tear over my own personality. Or, as some might put it, the lack thereof.)

So, when I finished my pie, I knew I had to return the sparkly celebrity jacket to its rightful owner. (Drat. Plus I had to send it to the cleaners first. Sparkles cost buckets of $$ to clean! And lets not talk about tassels.) Still, I have no regrets. I will always cherish the memory of my books laughing in the sun, basking in the warmth of the world's embrace, blushing at being hailed as masterful achievements, giggling with delighted embarrassment when their naked covers turned up on You Tube.

A girl's gotta dream.